Sharing my journeys through words/film/digital
Pieces of my self are scattered throughout:
I love it when people shock you to the core.
Beautiful surprises give way
To potentially life changing conversations
With those who are in touch with the universe.
FKA twigs- Hide
"You’re in my blood
Like holy wine
You taste so bitter
So bitter, and so sweet
Oh, I could drink a case of you
And I would still be on my feet
Oh I would still be on my feet" - A Case of You
What do I have to show for the past four days?
A few beautiful memories with a few delightfully suprising people, flasks and dunhills to the rim, a promising friendship which it seems I’ve already regrettably fucked up, a flu that produces enough phlegm to flood the himalayas, a bank account minus 300 ringgit, three assignments and ten readings to catch up on, and a head full of questions.
In summary, not much.
"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget." - Arundhati Roy
"You are not just the drop in the ocean. You are the mighty ocean in the drop." - Rumi (via elige)
Right this very second I am sitting in my humble little white-tiled room in a country that I don’t really know anything about. It’s 12.40 am, and I have no plans on sleeping anytime remotely soon, but it’s not like I would anyway. Looking out my window I see series of lights hovering in the outlines of condominiums, a highway and it’s overlapping overpasses, cars and motorocycles, a pool, an empty basketball court and several palm trees. I’m on the 8th floor of a 21 floor building located just outside the grounds of a University. This is my home for the next 5 months, and whilst I’m loving every breath being here, there’s nothing like reverie and the fleeting nostalgia that comes when you’ve got a cup of earl and a cigarette, you’ve just finished watching a fabulously thoughtful movie with three people you met literally 4 hours ago, and have just started listening to that new music you downloaded before you left your own country because you knew that the internet would be practically non-existent in the country you were travelling to- and that music makes you fucking hate the world, and then love it, and then hate it, and love it all over again.
Anyways, I just felt like saying ‘I love you’ to all of the people who have, by some luck, or chance (or destiny), stumbled into my life- especially those who have been there through and through and through like my soft toy british bulldog named gompostreis gopalenastamaria (don’t ask, but he is my best friend and oh i love him to the end of the earth and beyond), and who I can just feel have their arms wrapped around me at all moments in time. Those who love me unconditionally- I love you unconditionally and more. Thank you for being you and making me me and just being.
Oh and I bought swimming goggles today and they are glorious
And I’m wearing them as I write this
Guess I could call them writing goggles too then
I wonder if I could get proper lenses put in these and wear them like normal glasses?
"It’s impossible to feel true unconditional love for any single person, until you can feel it for every single person. After all, what differentiates them, except conditions?" - Mike Dooley - More Notes from the Universe (via klairvoyante)
The past week I’ve felt a bit like Theodore Twombly, minus the moustache but with the same amount of confusion. Reflecting on the past two years I’ve lived in Melbourne and spent with him- that confusion has evolved into a feeling of empowerment, clarity, and purpose.
On Monday I said goodbye to the person I know the best on this earth, the person who respected me, who loved me through and through and kept me safe in our own little blissful, peaceful world. Who taught me to look through my innocence and see that the world is beautifully shit, whilst making me realise that I have the confidence, strength and power to change it to be just beautiful.
There is so much that I want to write about him, so much I want to say, but he is the only person I want to share my thoughts with, because he is the only one who understands. He is the only person that I can trust wholeheartedly, a friend that I will have for life, and a lover I am eternally thankful to have had.
Instead of being totally lost and confused (as per usual when I come out of a relationship) I feel prepared to take on the world full throttle. I know what I have to do, who I am, and where I am going, and there’s no looking back. Fuck low self-esteem and wasting time, fuck being needy and insecure like 3/4 of the women my age. I have nothing to be insecure about! I’m 22 years old, free, intelligent, thoughtful, kind… and yes I’m going to brag about the good qualities I think I have because speaking low of myself can fuck right off… Negativity can fuck off. Haha I love this feeling- and all thanks to you, my love.
"The atoms of our bodies are traceable to stars that manufactured them in their cores and exploded these enriched ingredients across our galaxy, billions of years ago. For this reason, we are biologically connected to every other living thing in the world. We are chemically connected to all molecules on Earth. And we are atomically connected to all atoms in the universe. We are not figuratively, but literally stardust." - Neil deGrasse Tyson
”During the first days of his new wandering life, the first greedy whirl of regained freedom, Goldmund had to relearn to live the homeless, timeless life of the traveller…
Obedient to no man, dependent only on weather and season, without a goal before them or a roof above them, owning nothing, open to every whim of fate, the homeless wanderers lead their childlike, brave, shabby existence…”
-“Narcisse & Goldmund”, Herman Hesse-